A few weeks ago, an electrician came to me to ask for my help because he lacked confidence. He told me his friends had better jobs than him and had been more successful in life than he had. He also said that he didn’t deserve to be better than he already was and blamed “the world” for not giving him better opportunities. So, I asked him “what stops you noticing the opportunities that are around you?” He said “fear of failure” I asked him “so how would you rather feel instead?” He said “more confident”. I asked him “what stops you feeling more confident?” He said “a fear that I might fail”. I asked him again how he’d like to feel instead and he said “more confident”. There was clearly a loop in the way he thought and this was causing him to feel “stuck”. So, from one expert to another, I asked him if he really wanted to change and be a “brighter” person or was he happy being who he was. He said he definitely wanted to feel “brighter”.
So, I asked him to imagine 3 light bulb sockets connected to a normal mains cable and 3 bulbs – 1 x 10-watt bulb, 1 x 100-watt bulb and 1 x 1000-watt halogen bulb. I asked him to imagine switching the power on and to notice the difference. He described how the 10-watt bulb glowed the dimmest while the 1000-watt glowed the brightest. So, I asked him if he could explain why this was given that the same electricity supply powered all the bulbs.
He said that it was because of the resistance. The electrician’s face lit up and he finally realised that the only thing making him feel “stuck” and stopping him achieving his goals was him. He said his life was like the 10-watt bulb – he, himself was “resisting” his own opportunities.